Greetings cyber world! So much has happened since we last talked.
As I said before I finally feel like I am getting settled, and “making my house a home” should I say. Since I have gotten to know the city better, I do plan on moving in July. So I have been spending all my time dreaming of my new home and how I am going to make it beautiful! (Ikea here I come!) I have found these adorable townhouses that back up to a creek and the beautiful Lake Johnson. I cannot wait to sign my lease in the middle of next month and make it official!
Also, I just got a promotion at work! I am officially a Sales Manager and have 24 people reporting to me, all of whom are older than me. It is essentially the exact same thing I have been doing, except now I have a permanent position and am guaranteed a job. I also no longer have to clock in and out and am not eligible for overtime any more. It is a lot of fun, and has been a great journey so far. I am beginning to see the fruits of my labor and am excited for the future! I cannot wait to start working in the visual and design aspect of such a big corporation.
My company gives me so much vacation it is crazy. I feel like every time I blog and I am talking about my next vacation. It has turned into about every 8 weeks I have a paid week off. So I will again be going to Florida in a week and a half to celebrate spring break like a college kid all over again! I might be a Big Girl, but I will always rage like a Seminole. I am also going to FINALLLLY visit Harry Potter land like I have been dreaming about for 2 years now!
I have been spending most of my free time crafting and reading. I have found that when I make use of my free time, instead of sleeping incessantly, it feels like I have a lot more than I thought I did. I do not necessarily feel like I am ALWAYS working, when I keep myself busy with other things. This has been a nice realization and a big part of what I mean when I say I am settling in and finding my balance. I have decided to post my favorite crafts on here and will start doing so more often for all to enjoy!
I may be becoming a Big Girl, but I will always be a day-dreaming kid at heart! <3
Love Always,
Elle
19.2.12
Canvas Prints- on a budget!
Recently I have seen that canvas prints have become very popular. I have seen ones like these with a variety of different quotes in almost every store I have been in lately.
I definitely wanted to jump on this bandwagon, because I think they are so cute, but my budget does not justify spending $30 plus on something I always thought looked so simple.
So instead I have been improvising! And of course, it started at a thrift store.
I found this painting, which ended up to my surprise not being canvas at all but a big piece of wood, at a thift store for $4.99. I picked it because it had such vibrant colors. I originally had bought vinyl letter stickers to stick on to spell out the quote I chose, however the quote is kind of lengthy and after opening the pack I realized that I would need almost 4 packs to have all the vowels I needed. Being that the stickers were around $7 each I had to come up with a different plan. So, I decided to use masking tape instead and formed the letters out of pieces of tape. I then spray painted it with the color of my choice.
In the end, I like the way it turned out. It has a child like quality which is what I wanted. In the future, I would probably choose a shorter quote to use the vinyl letters (since I already bought a pack!) and a contrasting cover color so the background stands out more. It was a fun project and something I cannot wait to hang up in my new home!
Love Always,
Elle
I definitely wanted to jump on this bandwagon, because I think they are so cute, but my budget does not justify spending $30 plus on something I always thought looked so simple.
So instead I have been improvising! And of course, it started at a thrift store.
I found this painting, which ended up to my surprise not being canvas at all but a big piece of wood, at a thift store for $4.99. I picked it because it had such vibrant colors. I originally had bought vinyl letter stickers to stick on to spell out the quote I chose, however the quote is kind of lengthy and after opening the pack I realized that I would need almost 4 packs to have all the vowels I needed. Being that the stickers were around $7 each I had to come up with a different plan. So, I decided to use masking tape instead and formed the letters out of pieces of tape. I then spray painted it with the color of my choice.
After I spray painted it I peeled off where the tape had been to reveal the quote.
After I peeled it off, I realized it did not quite turn out the way I had wanted it to. In retrospect, I wish I had used a more contrasting color like black or royal blue and I think it would have shown the letter better, but that just was not the color I wanted for the whole thing. So yet again I found myself having to improvise and decided that I could just simply outline everything!
In the end, I like the way it turned out. It has a child like quality which is what I wanted. In the future, I would probably choose a shorter quote to use the vinyl letters (since I already bought a pack!) and a contrasting cover color so the background stands out more. It was a fun project and something I cannot wait to hang up in my new home!
Love Always,
Elle
11.1.12
God does not play dice...
So I know it has been over a month since I wrote. I CANNOT believe how fast time has flown! My last post was kind of angry and I am happy to report that at this point I am in a much better place now!
The month of December flew by with me working so much, and did not suck nearly as much as I thought it would. I did get to go see the North Carolina Ballet do the Nutcracker and it was amazing!! Christmas was actually very nice! I think I was so upset because everything was going to be completely different than every Christmas I have ever had for the past 22 years. But it made me realize that sometimes change is good. It was different, but it still felt just like Christmas. And it turned out to be a really nice day!
New Year’s was a blast. Camo man came up and we spent the night watching the legendary Raleigh acorn drop out of the sky. It was very nice and a lot of fun. I also got to live out my Serendipity moment and went ice skating at the outdoor ice rink in downtown Raleigh. It was beautiful and a lot of fun!
The past weekend I spent doing inventory until 5:30 in the morning at work! It was very interesting and definitely a great learning experience. I have never been through inventory with such a massive company and while being there all night was not the best, I did think I learned a lot. I also think I was able to prove myself. It is funny for me to look back at the past 4 months and realize how much I have learned so quickly! Especially how much I have learned about myself that was surprising! Hopefully soon I will become an official sales manager, be done with my training for good, and the whole world will open up to me then!
And, I get yet another vacation coming up! So in a week and a half I will be flying home to Florida and get to see everyone I missed so much over the holidays! I must say, they do if us a lot of vaca for all the hard work. I am so excited to go home and be in the sunshine!
Speaking of sunshine, I bought my first pair of snow boots last week. That was an eye-opening experience. I really hope I never have to use them. EVER. But at least now I am prepared! I am trying my best to be cold weather-chic.
Tonight I went and got my planner refills for the new year. I have sort of developed this ritual that I do every year when my planner runs out and I have to change it where I go through all the old pages of the year before and re-write quotes or other things I liked from the year before in the new one. I did this tonight, and it was so crazy to see how much has changed in one year!! Going through my old planner I relived so much: my first interviews for the company I now work for, going to Tenessee with Florida State, and then traveling to Raleigh to sign the lease for the apartment I am sitting in writing this, Graduating college! Camo man and I's first date (and now we just celebrated out 1 year anniversary!) my senior formal. On one of the Friday nights I had written "Going out with my boots out!" to my favorite country line-dancing bar in Tallahassee! So much has changed in my life in just a year! It was nice to go back and remind myself of everything I have accomplished. Remembering where I have come from, and exactly where I plan to go.
Overall, I would say I am getting more use to being here. I am beginning to fall into a pattern and find my balance- which is nice. I don’t feel like I am just here doing an internship and going back home soon anymore. I am beginning to feel like this IS home. Which is a weird thing to admit to myself finally. But I do like it. Some days are hard, as they would be anywhere, and I will definitely enjoy my vacation in Florida. But I don’t think coming back will feel so weird this time. Maybe I really am becoming a Big Girl?
The month of December flew by with me working so much, and did not suck nearly as much as I thought it would. I did get to go see the North Carolina Ballet do the Nutcracker and it was amazing!! Christmas was actually very nice! I think I was so upset because everything was going to be completely different than every Christmas I have ever had for the past 22 years. But it made me realize that sometimes change is good. It was different, but it still felt just like Christmas. And it turned out to be a really nice day!
New Year’s was a blast. Camo man came up and we spent the night watching the legendary Raleigh acorn drop out of the sky. It was very nice and a lot of fun. I also got to live out my Serendipity moment and went ice skating at the outdoor ice rink in downtown Raleigh. It was beautiful and a lot of fun!
The past weekend I spent doing inventory until 5:30 in the morning at work! It was very interesting and definitely a great learning experience. I have never been through inventory with such a massive company and while being there all night was not the best, I did think I learned a lot. I also think I was able to prove myself. It is funny for me to look back at the past 4 months and realize how much I have learned so quickly! Especially how much I have learned about myself that was surprising! Hopefully soon I will become an official sales manager, be done with my training for good, and the whole world will open up to me then!
And, I get yet another vacation coming up! So in a week and a half I will be flying home to Florida and get to see everyone I missed so much over the holidays! I must say, they do if us a lot of vaca for all the hard work. I am so excited to go home and be in the sunshine!
Speaking of sunshine, I bought my first pair of snow boots last week. That was an eye-opening experience. I really hope I never have to use them. EVER. But at least now I am prepared! I am trying my best to be cold weather-chic.
Tonight I went and got my planner refills for the new year. I have sort of developed this ritual that I do every year when my planner runs out and I have to change it where I go through all the old pages of the year before and re-write quotes or other things I liked from the year before in the new one. I did this tonight, and it was so crazy to see how much has changed in one year!! Going through my old planner I relived so much: my first interviews for the company I now work for, going to Tenessee with Florida State, and then traveling to Raleigh to sign the lease for the apartment I am sitting in writing this, Graduating college! Camo man and I's first date (and now we just celebrated out 1 year anniversary!) my senior formal. On one of the Friday nights I had written "Going out with my boots out!" to my favorite country line-dancing bar in Tallahassee! So much has changed in my life in just a year! It was nice to go back and remind myself of everything I have accomplished. Remembering where I have come from, and exactly where I plan to go.
Overall, I would say I am getting more use to being here. I am beginning to fall into a pattern and find my balance- which is nice. I don’t feel like I am just here doing an internship and going back home soon anymore. I am beginning to feel like this IS home. Which is a weird thing to admit to myself finally. But I do like it. Some days are hard, as they would be anywhere, and I will definitely enjoy my vacation in Florida. But I don’t think coming back will feel so weird this time. Maybe I really am becoming a Big Girl?
Love Always,
Elle
Elle
30.11.11
Christmas is a holiday that persecutes the lonely, the frayed, and the rejected. – Jimmy Cannon
So I spent all of Thanksgiving alone. Completely alone. And it really affected me much more than I thought. Everything here is so different than I anticipated. I knew I would be away from my friends and family. I know I made that choice. But I thought I would make new friends, create my own family. And nothing of the sort has happened. And I do not really know how to make it happen.
Black Friday was insane. I had a slight melt down where I locked myself in my office for 30 minutes and cried. Not to mention I was awake at 3:15 in the morning and worked a 13 hour shift, but I had horrible rude customers all day long screaming at me. I do not understand what is wrong with people. I do not understand what is wrong with our society. It makes me sick. And it makes me actively think about how I treat strangers, and even those not strangers, I interact with day to day. I made a promise to myself to never make some feel the way those awful people make me feel.
Since then things have gotten a little better here and there, small successes throughout the day. But December looks grim. From tomorrow, December 1st, until Christmas day, I have 3 days off (and one of them is not Christmas Eve). I am trying to stay positive, but I just feel like there is no way it will not completely suck. Especially with the type of customers we have coming in lately. All I can pray for is that it will go by fast and I can go back to a somewhat normal life.
But I think what kills me the most is that I have nothing to look forward to. No one to lean on. So instead I will bitch to my blog audience that probably does not even really exist.
On the upside, I really do enjoy the Holidays- even if I have no one to enjoy them with. I decided I am going to get a mini Christmas tree to put on my counter top and decorate for myself! I especially love watching all the classic holiday clay-mation cartoons.
Today was one of the last days off I am going to have in a while. When I first moved here I stumbled upon this little used book store in Apex, NC. Apex is the most adorable town I have ever seen. It is literally like an old movie; with a little downtown main street with mom and pop shops on it. I have toyed with the idea of moving there once my lease is up here. So I went back to my book store today and got some new books to read. I have decided that this will be my new go to place when I am feeling down. It makes me feel like I am in a movie with the cute small town book shop that I sit at and drink coffee, where everyone knows your name (Is it weird that I am always picturing my life as a movie?) When your life is making you sad, there is nothing better than getting lost in someone else’s to make you feel better!
I also went and saw a movie by myself for the first time a few days ago. I think it is funny that I felt so weird about this; a movie is such a solitary thing- to sit in the dark in silence, yet I still felt so taboo doing it. However, I found the experience to be kind of empowering. I can go do things by myself and not keep myself from doing them because I cannot find someone to go with me. It was a weird realization for me. Another Big Girl moment.
There are many things in December that I am looking forward to. On Saturday, Raleigh is doing their Christmas tree lighting down town. This apparently is a big shin-dig and I am very excited for it. Pictures of this event from last year were one of the things that honestly made me want to move to Raleigh in the first place. And Sunday my mother has signed me up for some snow sledding thing. I am not sure what it will be but it should be cool (Literally!) Also, they set up a real ice rink outside down town! With REAL ice, not the plastic stuff we pretend is ice rinks in Florida. Camo Man will be coming up after Christmas and we are going to go skating and have a Serendipity moment! That has me really excited.
I think I am really sad that I see my life changing. Traditions that I have had my whole life are dissipating before my eyes. And as sad as that is, that is why I am here. That is what growing up is all about right? My family called me from Florida on Thanksgiving, and one of my cousins said something spot on, he said “We are all sad you aren’t here, but you do what you gotta do, we’ll always be here.” And I guess that is how it has to be from now on. For me to get what I want out of life, this is what I have to go through. And even writing about it now makes me feel better. It makes it a little bit okay.
This is my life. I chose to not take the easy route, and this is what I have given myself. And this is what I am going to do. I am no quitter, and I am going to get exactly what I want- Success. I am going to be a Big Girl.
But I still miss you all.
Love Always,
Elle
Black Friday was insane. I had a slight melt down where I locked myself in my office for 30 minutes and cried. Not to mention I was awake at 3:15 in the morning and worked a 13 hour shift, but I had horrible rude customers all day long screaming at me. I do not understand what is wrong with people. I do not understand what is wrong with our society. It makes me sick. And it makes me actively think about how I treat strangers, and even those not strangers, I interact with day to day. I made a promise to myself to never make some feel the way those awful people make me feel.
Since then things have gotten a little better here and there, small successes throughout the day. But December looks grim. From tomorrow, December 1st, until Christmas day, I have 3 days off (and one of them is not Christmas Eve). I am trying to stay positive, but I just feel like there is no way it will not completely suck. Especially with the type of customers we have coming in lately. All I can pray for is that it will go by fast and I can go back to a somewhat normal life.
But I think what kills me the most is that I have nothing to look forward to. No one to lean on. So instead I will bitch to my blog audience that probably does not even really exist.
On the upside, I really do enjoy the Holidays- even if I have no one to enjoy them with. I decided I am going to get a mini Christmas tree to put on my counter top and decorate for myself! I especially love watching all the classic holiday clay-mation cartoons.
Today was one of the last days off I am going to have in a while. When I first moved here I stumbled upon this little used book store in Apex, NC. Apex is the most adorable town I have ever seen. It is literally like an old movie; with a little downtown main street with mom and pop shops on it. I have toyed with the idea of moving there once my lease is up here. So I went back to my book store today and got some new books to read. I have decided that this will be my new go to place when I am feeling down. It makes me feel like I am in a movie with the cute small town book shop that I sit at and drink coffee, where everyone knows your name (Is it weird that I am always picturing my life as a movie?) When your life is making you sad, there is nothing better than getting lost in someone else’s to make you feel better!
I also went and saw a movie by myself for the first time a few days ago. I think it is funny that I felt so weird about this; a movie is such a solitary thing- to sit in the dark in silence, yet I still felt so taboo doing it. However, I found the experience to be kind of empowering. I can go do things by myself and not keep myself from doing them because I cannot find someone to go with me. It was a weird realization for me. Another Big Girl moment.
There are many things in December that I am looking forward to. On Saturday, Raleigh is doing their Christmas tree lighting down town. This apparently is a big shin-dig and I am very excited for it. Pictures of this event from last year were one of the things that honestly made me want to move to Raleigh in the first place. And Sunday my mother has signed me up for some snow sledding thing. I am not sure what it will be but it should be cool (Literally!) Also, they set up a real ice rink outside down town! With REAL ice, not the plastic stuff we pretend is ice rinks in Florida. Camo Man will be coming up after Christmas and we are going to go skating and have a Serendipity moment! That has me really excited.
I think I am really sad that I see my life changing. Traditions that I have had my whole life are dissipating before my eyes. And as sad as that is, that is why I am here. That is what growing up is all about right? My family called me from Florida on Thanksgiving, and one of my cousins said something spot on, he said “We are all sad you aren’t here, but you do what you gotta do, we’ll always be here.” And I guess that is how it has to be from now on. For me to get what I want out of life, this is what I have to go through. And even writing about it now makes me feel better. It makes it a little bit okay.
This is my life. I chose to not take the easy route, and this is what I have given myself. And this is what I am going to do. I am no quitter, and I am going to get exactly what I want- Success. I am going to be a Big Girl.
But I still miss you all.
Love Always,
Elle
17.11.11
Love Never Fails.
I know it has been such a long time since I wrote! So much has been happening lately.
Two weeks ago I officially finished my training. I had to present a big PowerPoint to all the executives in my store, including my store manager, and then the District Vice President came as well as the District HR director! It was a really big deal to have them come to my store just for me. I thought it went really well, hopefully they think so too! Then later on the day of my presentation, the store manager called a meeting, and when I walked into the office it was really a surprise party for me! Everyone had gotten me a cake and we all sat around for a little while just having fun, which is the first time that has ever happened on the clock! It was so nice of them and really made me feel like a part of the team for the first time.
Then, on the same day all of this happened I left work and went straight to the airport to fly to Florida for my vacation. It was so amazing and I wish I could still be there! I got to spend some time with my Daddy in Jacksonville, went shopping, saw the rest of my family, went to the beautiful Florida beaches and visited some of my favorite bars and such. Then later in the week Camo Man came and picked me up and I went to Tallahassee, Home of the Seminoles! We went hunting, we went out to the gun range –which was a lot of fun even though I am pretty sure I still have a bruise. Then I got to meet up with one of my favorite little girls I used to coach! And he, being the most wonderful thing, had all my friends from Tallahassee surprise me for my birthday dinner! We had dinner, he baked me a cake, and then we went out to the bar to celebrate. It turned into one of those crazy Tallahassee nights that I miss so bad. Finally, I went and watched the Seminoles win an awesome football game, and got my private birthday dinner with my man! So I guess I really am 23 now, despite how much I try to deny it.
Where did all the time go??
It is insane how fast everything happens. And I hate it. College flew by far too quickly, and now I have already been in Raleigh for 3 months!? It blows my mind. Like I cannot compute it.
Thinking about that makes me feel like I have not utilized my time here. I am going to try to start making more of my time off; instead of just sleeping and going to work. I hope to explore more. I hope to meet some people and actually make a friend. A real one. At least one. It’s hard being in a city alone.
So when I got back from my vacation I switched departments since my training program is officially over. I am now in charge of handbags, accessories, fashion watches and fashion jewelry. I do not know what my store manager was thinking; sticking me down there to stare at Michael Kors all day long. But thus far (3 days in) I really do enjoy it and it think it will be a good department for me. The associates down there are a lot of fun. And so the holidays are beginning (Can you believe it is almost Thanksgiving?!) and also begins our 6-day work weeks. I have officially 5 days off for the entire month of December. It is going to be crazy, but hopefully, well worth it. I know it going to be the hardest being here alone during the holiday time.
But that is what being a Big Girl is all about right? It is all a part of growing up. But I still find myself wishing I was in college again. I think one day I will get over the feeling that this is all just some summer job and I am going back to class soon. But then again, I kind of hope I never do.
I am always trying to picture my life, but the picture is always changing. I could see myself going in so many different directions! There are so many possibilities! And I feel so lucky to have these possibilities in front of me, where others do not. It’s like a good reality TV show (not the horrible ones like Teen Mom) where I just have to watch what happens next! I am just livin’ this Big Girl life one day at a time.
Love always,
Elle
20.10.11
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" -Albus Dumbledore (the smartest man I know)
So everyone came up last weekend and it was amazing! I cannot believe how much we crammed into two days. It is kind of sad that I did more in those two days that I have done in the two months I have lived here. While I had so much fun with them, it did make me realize how lonely I have been and how much I miss home!
First we went to the FSU v Duke football game that was up here in Durham. It made me so happy to see so many Noles! Plus we won so that is always nice. It was a lot of fun and they had set up a very nice tailgate for us. Then that night we went to a corn maze that also had all these different haunted houses at it. They had a haunted hayride which was my favorite, and then we ran around in the corn for a while. I saw a shooting star while we were out in the woods it was beautiful! That is definitely something I could have never done in Florida! It was nice and chilly; we got to hang around a bonfire with hot chocolate! I liked it a lot. Then the next day we went to the North Carolina state fair. It was so fun! I ended up getting some really great pictures too- so many beautiful colors at fairs!
Then after everyone left me, I flew to Miami for the day. While I still do think it was a complete waste, it did not suck as much as I thought it would. It is always good to see my peers and it was good to have a change of pace. Also, since I worked 18 hours in one day, I have had the past two days off. A little weekend in the middle of the week!
I have spent a lot of the past two days in a very strange mood. Memories from my past keep finding me in the craziest of ways (like me finding my old canon rebel that I have not picked up in 5 years with a half used roll of film in it!) and I have spent the majority of my time off reflecting on these things because I cannot seem to get away from them. I really hope that the past does not repeat itself again and that I can break this cycle and find myself in a better place. I have been feeling this change happening, as I have mentioned on here before, and I just hope that it does not revert back. “Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.” –Carrie Bradshaw.
I have also spent my days off painting recently. And taking pictures (finding my old rebel motivated me). It seems I have become inspired in my new place.
So tomorrow I will go back to work for the first time in what seems like a very long time. I am excited though. I planned a fit event for my girls next week, where some vendors are going to come in and give them tips on bra fittings and working with customers. I am excited for this, especially since I planned it. I am going to make rum cupcakes for it! I will share with yall how they go!
I also just booked my flight to Florida for my upcoming vacation! So I get to spend my 23rd birthday with all my favorite people back home! It will be my one last hoorah before the crazy retail holiday season begins!
My loneliness has been hitting me more lately. After having everyone up here and having such a good time, then spending the day mostly alone in an airport, and now having the past two days off alone with old memories haunting me; I have definitely been going through many different emotions, having nothing to do but think. My HR manager was asking me if I wanted to move back to Florida when I get my new assignment in a few months. And while I absolutely do, I know I can’t. I can’t give up on myself like that. I feel like moving back, would just be giving up. Proving everyone right- that it was a stupid idea to move up here. And I refuse to. I know at some point I will probably move back, I want to raise my children around my family and what not. But for right now, I cannot give up. I will not give up. And I know I will be a better person because of it. I know it will make me a Big Girl J
Love always,
Elle
First we went to the FSU v Duke football game that was up here in Durham. It made me so happy to see so many Noles! Plus we won so that is always nice. It was a lot of fun and they had set up a very nice tailgate for us. Then that night we went to a corn maze that also had all these different haunted houses at it. They had a haunted hayride which was my favorite, and then we ran around in the corn for a while. I saw a shooting star while we were out in the woods it was beautiful! That is definitely something I could have never done in Florida! It was nice and chilly; we got to hang around a bonfire with hot chocolate! I liked it a lot. Then the next day we went to the North Carolina state fair. It was so fun! I ended up getting some really great pictures too- so many beautiful colors at fairs!
Then after everyone left me, I flew to Miami for the day. While I still do think it was a complete waste, it did not suck as much as I thought it would. It is always good to see my peers and it was good to have a change of pace. Also, since I worked 18 hours in one day, I have had the past two days off. A little weekend in the middle of the week!
I have spent a lot of the past two days in a very strange mood. Memories from my past keep finding me in the craziest of ways (like me finding my old canon rebel that I have not picked up in 5 years with a half used roll of film in it!) and I have spent the majority of my time off reflecting on these things because I cannot seem to get away from them. I really hope that the past does not repeat itself again and that I can break this cycle and find myself in a better place. I have been feeling this change happening, as I have mentioned on here before, and I just hope that it does not revert back. “Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.” –Carrie Bradshaw.
I have also spent my days off painting recently. And taking pictures (finding my old rebel motivated me). It seems I have become inspired in my new place.
So tomorrow I will go back to work for the first time in what seems like a very long time. I am excited though. I planned a fit event for my girls next week, where some vendors are going to come in and give them tips on bra fittings and working with customers. I am excited for this, especially since I planned it. I am going to make rum cupcakes for it! I will share with yall how they go!
I also just booked my flight to Florida for my upcoming vacation! So I get to spend my 23rd birthday with all my favorite people back home! It will be my one last hoorah before the crazy retail holiday season begins!
My loneliness has been hitting me more lately. After having everyone up here and having such a good time, then spending the day mostly alone in an airport, and now having the past two days off alone with old memories haunting me; I have definitely been going through many different emotions, having nothing to do but think. My HR manager was asking me if I wanted to move back to Florida when I get my new assignment in a few months. And while I absolutely do, I know I can’t. I can’t give up on myself like that. I feel like moving back, would just be giving up. Proving everyone right- that it was a stupid idea to move up here. And I refuse to. I know at some point I will probably move back, I want to raise my children around my family and what not. But for right now, I cannot give up. I will not give up. And I know I will be a better person because of it. I know it will make me a Big Girl J
Love always,
Elle
11.10.11
“You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” –Steve Jobs RIP
The past two weeks have been a complete blur! I guess I am getting use to my hectic schedule because my work days seem to be flying by; instead of counting the minutes before the end of the day. Or maybe this means I am truly beginning to learn everything I have to do, and thus have more things to add to my schedule. I think it is a mixture of both, and either way it is exciting!
This upcoming week is going to be filled with even more craziness! On Thursday we have the entire corporate team coming to our store! I cannot wait to be a part of it (I have a very professional outfit ready!) Then next Tuesday, a week from today, I am being flown to Miami for the DAY! How crazy is that! No big deal, we’ll just fly you across the country for the day…
This upcoming week is going to be filled with even more craziness! On Thursday we have the entire corporate team coming to our store! I cannot wait to be a part of it (I have a very professional outfit ready!) Then next Tuesday, a week from today, I am being flown to Miami for the DAY! How crazy is that! No big deal, we’ll just fly you across the country for the day…
In my previous post I expressed my anxiety with being “in-charge”. I have since found it much easier than I thought. All of my people have actually responded really well to me and are great to work with! I am happy about the relationships I am making with them and the progress that has been made in my Intimate Apparel department! I guess I need to give people a little more credit and stop expecting the worst. “I will always be the girl who thinks no one will show up to her party,” –Rachel Zoe. That is so entirely me though, and probably always will be.
While being a Big Girl has its advantages, I feel recently the disadvantages keep hitting me in the face. It is nice to have a big fat paycheck, and makes it hurt that much more watching it all diminish before my eyes! I just had to enroll for my health benefits- it feels so weird to be on my own plan by myself now (HOW ADULT of me!) Not to mention the chunk it takes out each week. Furthermore, my 6-month grace period for my student loans is up at the end of this month. That’s another 10k out of my pocket. I am starting to miss college.
On a more upbeat note, Camo man and my pretty friends are coming up to Raleigh this weekend! I have the weekend off and we are filling it with all sorts of fun fall festivities (try to say that 5 times fast). One of the things on the schedule I am excited about is going to a haunted corn maze- how North Carolinian of me right? Corn does not exactly grow well in Florida! Not to mention getting to watch my SEMINOLES play! I have been setting up my house and getting everything ready for them to come! I feel so Betty Crocker.
Also today I finalized my vacation. I get 9 entire days off for my birthday and I am flying home to FLORIDA! I am very excited about this! I am so lucky to have such a wonderful job straight out of college. I have been there less than 2 months and I have 2 weeks of vacation to take! Not to mention full benefits. I know I am truly blessed to have this opportunity and am so appreciative of it.
I have been thinking a lot about my future; with my career, with my life, with everything. I have big plans and big dreams! It is nice to feel them all beginning to come true. And that is exactly what this moment is: THE BEGINNING.
I have always been the kind of person who is always looking to the next step. Always wants more.
But I think for right now, I just need to stop and enjoy the beautiful life.
My beautiful life.
Love always,
Elle
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