Flight risk, with a fear of falling

Some things have changed since I last updated. I must confess I have been hiding something from all my readers. I am currently monogamously dating someone new. It has been going on for about a month and a half so far, but I did not want to put anything on here at first because I was still so unsure about everything. Part of me still is. It is slightly terrifying. I do not want to get too excited about anything, or start expecting things from someone. I don’t want to let myself fall.

…But sometimes I just can’t help it. I am destined to be a hopeless romantic forever, no matter how many times I learn love isn’t real. Or at least not lasting. Be as it may, at least for now, I will not have any crazy and exciting single-girl-in-a-big-city stories. But based on my short experience as one- it really wasn’t that much fun. At least not for me. I have always leaned on the side of relationships. I never know how it happens, but it always does to me. Even when I do not want one. I am still trying to figure out if that is a good or a bad thing.

So for now, I am determined to not get excited, not plan, not expect. Go day by day and not take it for granted that he will still like me tomorrow. Just see what happens, and try not to analyze myself into a hole like I love to do so much. I think maybe my view of how a relationship should be up to this point has been completely skewed and irrational. Maybe this new approach is how normal people act in a relationship? Is that how they don’t get hurt? Or does everyone else just suffer silently? Either way, there has got to be something more in this department of life than what I have experienced so far. But the only thing I can change is my way of thinking, so that’s what I am going to do. I’ll let you know how that works out for me… haha.

In other news, I got an intern! My boss is actually entrusting me to have an intern of my very own for 8 weeks. I couldn’t believe it when I was told. But it is such an honor to be chosen as the mentor, being that I am the last hired in the store! So far he has been working with me for about 2 weeks. I must admit sometimes it is fun having a shadow. For a job where I am incessantly around tons of people 9 hours straight, I never realized how lonely it actually is. I just hope that I can give him everything he needs.

I feel like I have been non-stop traveling lately. The Charlotte trip was so much fun! One of the best things I have done since I moved up here by far. My favorite part was doing the stand-up paddle boards. We paddled out down this river and just laid in the sun on the boards for over an hour. It was beautiful and perfect. Something I will always remember.

Last weekend I went down to Fayetteville, North Carolina, which was definitely an experience. And then in a few days I will be going up to Maryland to visit the young man mentioned above. And in a few weeks I get to go back to the beautiful Florida beaches! Even though this is my first summer not having the entire summer off as a student, it is still turning out to be pretty decent.

The dictionary defines love as this:

Love noun, verb, loved, lov·ing. noun

1.       a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

There is nothing defining love as faithful, trusting or everlasting. Maybe I really have had it wrong this whole time…

Love always,

Elle